Everything started way back in 2007 when I was in grade 9. When this man from my church talked direct to my mum about engaging me and later presented the issue to me. From the way he came out it seemed mum was okay with it. I personally wasn’t down for the guy and I told him that we can’t be but he insisted we try and see how it goes.
Fast forward, I wrote my grade 9 exams, I passed and this guy was there to buy things required for me to start my grade ten. I realized that I still didn’t feel anything for him and declined to get the stuffs he bought for me and ended the relationship with him. Nevertheless this guy kept coming despite me ending everything with him. Later on in grade I started seeing someone and on a fateful day I happened to be seeing my ex out when my then boyfriend showed up and I introduced him. From there the guy didn’t say a thing, he just left and only sent a letter telling me how he still loved me to which I responded that I didn’t feel the same about him.
Things with the new guy didn’t work out and we broke up. I was single until I completed my grade twelve in 2011. In 2012 I started seeing someone who left me by impregnating someone else. That same year, i started dating someone else and again this new man left by impregnating someone else. Mid 2013 I started dating someone from church, everything was okay until he asked for permission to marry me from the guy who wanted to engage me when I was in grade 9 to which the guy refused saying he still loves me. And this new man decided to end the relationship saying he can’t go against his friend. Well, we sat and talked and resolved to proceed with the relationship. 2014 I got into college and everything was okay he moved from kitwe to lusaka for work. We made plans of settling once am done with college.
2016, I completed then boom he said he’s no longer interested and he has someone else and it was true. 7 months down the line and they even got married. And I was left for the third time.
I didn’t give up on love but just from that time none of my relationships has worked out it’s heartbreak after heartbreak and honestly about 7 guys have dumped me in this period of 2017-2022. I have tried to find out why they leave and they say nothing, they just loose interest. It starts with communication breakdown and then if I try to inquire about the communication breakdown the relationship ends just like. I have been left by they either impregnating someone or going back to their ex. And some of these guys they come back but nothing works at the end of the day. This is really eating me up. I work, I provide my own things, am beautiful, am humble as people describe me. Why am I been left without a valid reason?
i have tried to think where I might be getting it all wrong but I can’t find anything. I’m not perfect but the guys leave saying you haven’t done anything wrong, it’s just me. Am troubled. I had a principle of no s.ex until marriage it didn’t help. Lost my virginity last year in November at 27 in hopes of making it work if s.ex is involved. I was treated like trash and still dumped. Am 28 now but nothing as in a stable relationship. I’m done with school, I work, am beautiful, am humble. What is it that am lacking to sustain a relationship?
Kindly help me am losing my mind. All comments are welcome. I’ll be reading through for advice.