My problem is I’m in quandary. I’m a level 300 student in one of the Public Universities in Ghana and 23 years old. I didn’t want to date because I have a higher ambition and didn’t want my prolonged schooling to spoil the chances of any lady that comes my way.
But I met this lady during level 100 Matriculation Sunday; she’s affable and beautiful and I approached her just to be her friend. We became good friends and my affection really developed towards her. After first year second semester, I proposed to her that I’m interested in her and her response was, “I will be available for dating in my 3rd year if only you can wait“
I agreed and told her I will wait. Even though we were not dating, we shared affection as more than lovers, those times were really perfect times in my life because my finances were okay as well and she was financially okay. She never burdened me but I did my best, I celebrated her birthdays and bought her gifts even though she didn’t ask. It got to a moment that she never posted and I asked why, she told me I shouldn’t worry. So my birthday is approaching. I asked because she posted a guy in Tech and captioned it “my husband”. In fact, the guy was on her dp for months so I needed to clear certain doubts. She told me there was nothing going on.
On my birthday, it got to 6pm and I was waiting for her post. I didn’t see anything but she had already sent me a text on SMS wishing me though but I didn’t want that. Just wanted my pic on her status and it didn’t happen. I was very disturbed that why is it that I’m sacrificing, I’m doing my very best for her but she seems not to appreciate? So I decided to call and inquire what was actually wrong. Her response was she was busy. There was a wedding going on in their church and she was ushering and bla bla. In fact, it hurted me so I hanged up on her.
Later in the evening she sent me a message apologizing but I didn’t mind her. Later she talked to my closed friend and the guy called to apologize on her behalf and I forgave her. We continued to vibe even though there were ups n downs. This same issue happened on my 23rd birthday and I suspected that she doesn’t keep me in mind and I should not wait on her. So many things happened but because of love I trusted her. She never flirted though but going out with her church guys later she told me. I shared with her everything that comes my way. She stopped confinding in me, she never told me her problems but started confinding in that my male friend. After some moments another lady came into the scene.
I told her everything that happened and she was teasing me that the lady is best for me. I told her, she’s the one I want. She stopped giving me attention even though I was still pressing on to let things happen. The other lady gave me the needed attention and was lovely though but I realized she was breaking some rules. We never had sex but we engaged in kissing twice of which I’ve still not forgiven myself. In a nutshell, just before the end of semester, at one of our group discussions, a member of the group who is a counselor approached me that the first lady said she’s interested in their Church President and don’t know how to go about it. The guy told me I shouldn’t confront her about it .
I earlier wanted to sit her down and talk to her about what we proposed but upon all that happened I have lost interest. Sometimes i get confuse about all these things. I just want to tell her that she can continue with whoever she likes because I have seen she has lost interest in me and I have no problem with it. But I’m also thinking of what will be the effect of this on her. The later lady isn’t the kind of woman I want to be with and have told her I’m not interested so whoever comes her way, she should do the needful and give him the best treat.
I’m very confused about the first lady and don’t know how to go about it because she easily gets emotionally abused. Please I need advice and thank you. Your comments are being monitored.