CONFESSIONS

My Heavy Weight Is Making Me Suicidal.

I’m a 16 years old girl and in the senior high school. I’ve never had friends like real friends before since childhood. Any friend I get either turn their back on me because of my physical looks. Not like I’m ugly but I’m fat. I get bullied most of the times. My classmates laugh at me and my teachers embarrass me in front of the whole class.

This was way back in jhs so after the bece, I decided to slim down like no matter what. So one day I was on facebook then this lady texted me and she wanted to be friends with me. I was surprised because I’m always the one asking people “can we be friends” first. I was happy when this lady was acting friendly. She asked for my number and I gave it to her. We started vibing and she was texting like a guy so I thought she was a guy just wanted to get my number.

We were chatting then she told me she’s a l.esbian and I was like “ei”. I started advising her to stop but she said it sweet and things. She told me if I just have one s.ex with her she’ll give me GHC 2,000 and I was surprised. So I’m staying with my auntie for like about six months after my mom died. I refused the l.esbian lady’s offer and blocked her. And I asked my auntie for money but she said she doesn’t have and even if she does she won’t spend it on me.

My Heavy Weight Is Making Me Suicidal.

So the way things were going I just gave up because my auntie won’t let me work. So I went to school on 4th April because my auntie won’t let me be a boarder because of the house chores. During the orientation I had this friend I use to go home with but she left for a different school so now it was only me. So when serious classes started, I used to hang out with some new friends.

One day I was coming back from the washroom. It was break time and mostly there are a lot of people on the compound eating. So this guys called me and they were about five and a lot of people were there too. When I went, one asked for my name and he told me to kiss him and I said no. They started laughing and when the others asked and they told them that I said I won’t kiss him and they started laughing that they won’t even allow a fat girl to touch their face. Many people were laughing and I went to class embarrassed. At this point, I was convinced that I have to commit suicide so I wrote letters and everything saying goodbye.

My Heavy Weight Is Making Me Suicidal.
My Heavy Weight Is Making Me Suicidal.

My plan was to jump from the uncompleted story building my auntie is building. It was very serious. So when I got home I saw my auntie making out with one of her friends in the bedroom and this is not the first time. So I did all the chores I do after school and after they were done making out my Auntie’s friend took us out to china mall to buy some stuffs and some dresses and the dresses were nice. I was like, if I had killed myself then I wouldn’t have gotten all these fine stuffs. 

Skipped school and starved myself for the whole day. I wasn’t aware i have ulcer so I stayed at home for almost a month before going back to school. My friends were like ” you’ve gained weight oo”. My confidence level was down the whole day. I’m not changing to impress anyone. I just want to do it for myself because personally, I don’t like the way I look.

My Heavy Weight Is Making Me Suicidal.

And we are on vacation now. We are left with just a month to reopen school. I want to slim down as soon as possible but I don’t have any alternative. So please if you are here and you can help me get the slim or loose weight, I’d appreciate it. I’m not sure I can stay in school for another three months with the way I look.

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