I’m in a state of dilemma. I’m a single mum 33 not a graduate.
My story is a bit lengthy but please bear with me.
I have 2 suitors and both have fixed their marriage with me on 17/12/2022. One is my ex and the other I just met 3 months ago.
My ex is a surveyor currently doing his masters and he’s really earning well. He has about 5 lands here in the city and will soon complete he’s building project.
And the new guy is still doing his youth service. But have small business he’s using to support his self but his family is really assisting him good because he’s the only son of his family and his mum is doing well financially.
He has met my family and I’ve met his too and they love me soo much especially his mum. He’s coming to collect marriage list by next weekend and I have actually made up my mind about it and we are doing well with the marriage plans. But I found out he lied to me about his business. He told me he has 3 shops and boys serving him and he has 2 cars and I’m finding it so difficult to trust him again. He’s begged me severally to tell him what he can do to gain back my trust but it’s so difficult. He said he lied about his financial status because he’s afraid to loose me.
I really liked him but that lie is hurting so badly and to think that he also said those lies to my family and again he’s not that caring. I wasn’t feeling fine and I told him and he was acting so emotional and was like he’ll credit my account so I can go for proper check up and treatment till date I’ve not seen his calls or even chat or text message. So I was worried and I called him all through yesterday no answer. In the morning, he messaged that he’s sorry and his phone was not with him. This is the 2nd time he’s acting like this.
Now about my ex. We never had issue or official break up. Just that I decide to slow down and give him some break and it was all my fault. I should’ve discussed it with him 1st but the thing is that I was under pressure then because we attend the same church, live in the same street so the relationship was so obvious to everyone. My mum, some of our church members, my friend and some guys and lady in our area started poling their noses into it.
He’s so playful and no sad moment with him. Most times when I visit him he’ll carry me on his back and drop me in our house so many people saw how happy we were together. Due to his job, he hardly have much time so the little time he’ll have he’ll use it to make up for the other times. We go out a lot. We’ve visited almost all the new places in town including swimming (I really missed him and he also missed me).
My mum said he should come and state his intentions towards me to her, and she recruited my friend. They were giving him hell. Our neighbors around keep telling me to breakup with him that he’s such a womanizer, only for the guy to start asking me out after I break up with my guy and he(my guy) used to tell me that ever since we started going out that most of those ladies stop greeting him. Even that period we broke up he still call me to share his sad and happy experiences. When he got a new car last month I was the first person he called and we went to celebrate together. If I’m sick, with his busy schedule running his work and school he still come checking up on me and calling me always.
So last month, he called me that we are going out. When we got there he said ’shey you remember 17/12/2022 is my birthday? And I use to tell you that’s when we’ll do our wedding’? I said remembered and he said I should get ready that he’s taking me to his mum. And I was like.. what!? You should ask me if I’ve moved on first. And what about your new babe, he said move on to where!? You fit am? And as for the babe we’re only dating because you left me in the dark. I didn’t tell her anything about marriage.
And I know my ex. He doesn’t sugar-coat words. Once he said a word, he meant it. Even in this break up any girl he sleeps with he’ll tell me. All his movements, travels and achievements he tells me all. Who should I discharge?
I’m have a feeling that if I end up with this new guy the marriage will be boring. That’s because he’s an introvert and I’m also an introvert. When we are together we hardly gist, play, joke and its like everybody is minding their business. That’s the area my ex really helped me on. I don’t say it out no matter how you hurt me I don’t express my self. I’m having a problem with that but he really helped me in that area to speak out. No matter how I try to hide my pains he’ll definitely know that something is wrong with me.
I know my family will choose the new guy. Because we’re from the same state and all my siblings married from delta. But I’m thinking of my sanity.