My wife is late and I am sleeping with her daughter, my step daughter! I don’t know if it is wrong or right, all I know is I can’t marry her if I want to. I wasn’t doing that when my wife was alive, it never occurred to me.
Met my wife in 2009 when her daughter was already seven years old. I had a daughter too, she was three. I was divorced but she had her daughter in her teens. I married her a year after and we lived happily until she passed away in 2019.
We have two kids, a boy and a girl, making four kids altogether. Her daughter is my daughter; she even writes my surname. We don’t know her dad, my wife never had the chance to show us her father till she passed away. I have asked her about it before but she always says she never wants to set eyes on that man again so I let it be.
I didn’t want her to feel like I didn’t love her daughter because I do. Before she died, she told me her daughter is mine forever because her father will never find her and she never will so I should love and treat her just like mine.
On her eighteenth birthday, I took all of them out to have fun. On our way back, I was telling her how I need her to focus when she goes to the university because she is young, she completed SHS even before she turned eighteen. I was scared those uni boys will take advantage of her.
She assured me nothing will go wrong. I told her I was thinking of getting another wife because I need someone to take care of her siblings in my absence, besides I am only forty-five.
My daughter confidently told me that she knows I want sex too. It was funny but that conversation is what has led to all these. I wouldn’t have even thought of touching her. When we got home that night, I insisted the young ones go to bed and they did. I later went to her room to ask her to come make milo for me.
I didn’t really need it, I just wanted to find a way to lure her to bed and I eventually did. She didn’t even resist me. She was a virgin, that’s what broke my heart most. I couldn’t look her in the eye for days but she kept behaving as if nothing happened. She one day told me to stop acting shy around her because she is fine with what happened.
That evening and almost every other evening she comes to my room. We even sleep together sometimes. Her siblings have caught us severally and asked why she sleeps in my room but I only tell them that their big sister wants to take last born position and we all laugh.
The thing is eating me up. My daughter behaves and talk to me like a wife now. That’s how I even see her. I don’t remember the last time I saw her like a daughter.
I know this may be wrong but deep down, I just want to marry her and forgo this guilt that consumes me.
I ask myself questions like “what if she brings a man home, how will I feel, happy or jealous, will she tell the man I am her husband or her Ex, how will she see me afterwards”? I think mostly of all these and the only thing I feel is right to marry her. I want to really marry her because I can’t keep her hidden forever. We can’t just be having sex too.
I don’t know what exactly to do, I know I already made a mistake by sleeping with her but it’s too late. It’s been over a year. The only thing I have tried not to do is make her pregnant because I don’t want her doing abortions. That will be the most terrible thing I’d have ever done. I am deep in this mess, I need someone to advise me but, it is a shame. I can’t go to anyone for advice. I need honest opinions. I don’t even know her family; I won’t be able to take her to my wife’s family that I want to marry her.
What exactly should I do or how should I go about it, who should I see and how do I get to do this without society pointing fingers at me? Should we just leave the country and settle abroad? I really need a good advisor or counsellor. Please help me, thank you.