I was 18 when I met him in Nigeria, he left back home before anything could start, we lost contact and so we both moved on. 2012 I came home to apply for a tertiary institution when we met again and we picked it up from there, we dated for 4years and then got married in 2016.
I had a business that was going well, so immediately after marriage he told me his business was really going well and he has alot of debts therefore he wants me to take care of the home with regards to everything, whiles he finds a way to pay his debt. I did it wholeheartedly without complain, along the line he got a different job with the government on a contract which I thought was going to help solve his debt so he could assist me but unfortunately it didn’t.
One day he brought me a soap(alata samina) that I should use in addition to other soap to use for bathing, well I didn’t think anything so I started using it.
Things started going bad for me, my business started going down yet nothing touched me to stop using the soap. He will call and demand for money and I will give without thinking, he goes out and comes as early as 12am almost everyday. He tells me he’s going to town and end up in another region but I couldn’t complain. Made me feel worthless because none of my suggestions were taken by him.
He lives a life of luxury whiles I was struggling. When I request for help to left my business I get a quarter of the amount I requested or nothing at all. For years I was calling people and nobody even comes to my aid. There’s no prayers I haven’t prayed, there’s no fasting I haven’t done, yet I couldn’t stop using the soap.
Somewhere last year, I took a loan to get me my personal license for my business. He was the one who knew the people so I gave him the money of about 10000 cedis. That’s what he said the license cost. Unknown to me he took other person’s money as well and never brought us the license. I had a lot of debt to pay and now the loan.
Whenever I asked him when the license was going to be ready I got stories. Not knowing he didn’t take the money to where it was supposed to go. The others couldn’t wait anymore so they reported him to the police and when he heard of it he fled. He fled because that’s not the first time he’s been arrested for doing almost the same thing,
I kept praying for my marriage and him but along the line I felt I had to pray for myself. Had the urge to throw the soap he gave me away and I started seeing things differently. I told him to support me clear off the debt he put me in and he boldly declined. Because i also declined to join him at where he has reached. I’ve been struggling to pay off the loan and it’s not been easy. I’ve sold almost everything I have. My business is closed because I don’t have goods. All he’s saying is I should come else he won’t lift a finger for me.
At this point my heart has left the marriage and I want out. It occurred to me recently how his family wanted me out of the marriage because they said I was a witch. I recall how for the last 3 years he’s been staying away from home but I never knew where. He wouldn’t let me know where he stays yet comes to my place at times 1 or 2 months. He’s never spent 3days with me and our son, he’s always in a hurry to leave when he visits.
Am I doing the right thing by not wanting to go to him?
I am very confused because am unable to pay the loan and the other debts I owe.
Help me. What do i do? Move on or go to him?