I met my boyfriend, now my husband (have been married for two years) on my way back from my Dad’s funeral at Abura-Dunkwa, in the central region. We happened to sit together in an STC bus.
He didn’t even notice me until the car broke down and we had to wait for a couple of hours. He stopped using his phone after about an hour, turned to me and said, “This drivers don’t servicing their cars, all they do is focus on money money money until their cars develop faults in the middle of the road”.
I smiled and said nothing but ‘I know right’.
We had a long chat afterwards till we got to Accra. We exchanged contacts and went our separate ways. A day after he called and we spoke for a couple of hours.
We became cool, he invited me over for dinner, proposed and a year after we got married. He suggested that we don’t have sex until marriage. At first, I thought he was just being religious and a perfect gentleman, I couldn’t wait though but, I tried because I loved him.
He didn’t touch me on our wedding night because he said he was very tired. I understood him, I was tired too. We slept in one of the best hotels in Tema that evening. I could not sleep, I kept thinking of how our first sexual experience was going to be. Back in those days, my friends use to say guys who act as if they don’t want sex are warlords in bed.
Following day, I bathed pretty early because I was expecting him to make a move but the day ended without him trying to touch me. It continued like that till the fourth day, I was shy to ask but I finally had to cuz we were only going to be there for seven days.
I needed sex, I am his wife now. I tried seducing him but he kept resisting. I didn’t give, I kept on trying till the sixth day, gave him blow-jobs, hand-jobs and all the naughty things you can think of but, his dick never showed any sign of rising. He said it was stress. And the ’are quiet guys really warlords in bed?’ question popped up in my head.
We finally left the hotel to our home. Life continued, he got me a car and lots of gifts. He is financially okay.
After almost a week at home and nothing has happened, I became angry and threatened to inform his parents that he is not touching me. He is a Mummy’s boy so I knew he would listen to her.
He begged me not to, that I should wake him up at dawn so we talk about it. Dawn came and guess what Ma’am, my man confessed to me that he is impotent. He said he noticed it when he was nineteen and has since then been secretly trying to cure but all his efforts failed. He has been to almost eight foreign countries yet could not get cured but he had to marry because his mother wanted him to. He added that he was returning from going to see a herbalist the day we met but no one has been able to heal him.
He was weeping like a baby, I could not believe it. I was just weeping.
I was so broken. I hated him at that moment. Nothing hurt me than the fact that he was able to fool me. Why didn’t he tell me earlier? Why would he want to marry me when he knew he wasn’t a man.
Please advise me, I want to divorce him but, he has threatened to commit suicide if I do because he does not want his parents knowing of his condition. He’s okay financially, we live in our own flat and I’ve a car of my own but, I need sex, I want a family.
I cannot adopt kids when I am capable of having one. It Hurts! I am so confused, please help me. I am depressed, I might just kill us, start cheating or divorce him. I need help!