I am 21 years now and my boyfriend is 34. We’ve been together since 2019 after his ex-girlfriend broke his heart a few months to their marriage, that’s what he told me. I was 18 when we met.
Constitutionally, I was due for marriage but he said he didn’t want any criticism from society so he will wait till I turn twenty before he marries me. I didn’t have any problem with that because I loved him and I believed he loved me too. He had very little time for me while in the relationship but, I was ok. He texts and calls not too often. He was controlling me the whole time. He would seize my phone for days if he realizes a guy texts or calls me or I am reading books, stories or novels that pertain to relationship or marriage with the excuse that those stories will only make me a bad girl.
He prevented me from using any other social media platform except whatsapp and even with that, I can’t come online when he hasn’t asked me to. He gave me reasons to believe it was all in my interest. He took my virginity within the third month of our relationship, I was still 18 years by then. Though we are in the same community, no one knows he is having an affair with me till date.
I only go to his place in the night because that’s what he wants. We have sex almost five times every week. When he wants it, he doesn’t care how busy I am or if I am in my period. I have to go to his place or the relationship is over. I didn’t want to lose him so I had to disrespect my parents for him every time.
I couldn’t wait to turn twenty because that was when he promised to marry me. He promised he was going to start showing me off to everyone immediately I turn twenty because I would be a big girl by then. When I turned twenty, nothing changed. Everything was the same. He didn’t even behave like he knew I was twenty. He did not even wish me a ‘happy birthday’ on that day. I tried reminding him of his promises to me but anytime I do, it will end up in a fight and he not talking to me for days with my phone seized.
Since January this year, anytime I go to his place, he has bought something new. The things he was buying seemed like items used to pay a lady’s bride price so I asked him and he said he is making plans for us. Since the day he told me that I have been extra good to him. I sell children’s clothes so I send him money almost every weekend to add up to his money to buy the items. I have even exhausted my capital and my mother has refused to mind me but, I always had hope it was for the best.
He told me on February 26th not to come to his place for a while because he has something he is doing which I obeyed. After that day, I never heard from him again. Anytime I call him, the call fails to go through so I went to his place three days ago only to meet new tenants in the house. He has parked out of the place without my knowledge. I went to his place of work last Friday, when he saw me, he pretended not to know me. He told one of his co-workers to tell me not to come there again.
I am confused! Does this mean this man has only used me or what? I keep wondering and crying. He is the reason I didn’t go to the university. My parents couldn’t afford it but I was saving towards it. He borrowed all the money and never paid back any. He told me at a point that the university will spoil me so I should learn how to sow.
He said he was going to get me a place to start my apprenticeship but he never did even after he took Ghc800 from me to add up to his money to buy me sewing machine and get me a place to start. I am scared he may never come back. My life has come to an end. He has to come back. Someone said if I share my story here, you will help me get him back. Please help me. I don’t want to lose him. I need my money back so I can go to school. Please help me talk to him. thank you!